Not Today

One bright morning, when this life is over, I'll fly away... 

In case you somehow missed it (is it possible? did someone miss it?), the rapture was "supposed to" happen yesterday.  Herald Camping, after years of research, somehow concluded that Christ would return on May 21, 2011, gathering His church to Heaven and would then exact a 5 month judgement on the rest of the planet, ending with the end of the world in October.

Obviously, it didn't happen.

It saddens me when people make outlandish predictions like this. Jesus was pretty clear when He was on earth:

Mat 24:36, 42-44 But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only… Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

 That day will come - whether it looks like the majority of the western church believes the rapture will look like or not. I like the image of one day suddenly being teleported to the other side of eternity, to find myself suddenly at the throne of my King in person. I lean towards pre- to mid-trib theology, and enjoyed Left Behind (well, the first few in the series at least - they decreased in quality & enjoyment as the series progressed).
What I will not do, however, is get caught up in a theology, "prophecy" or fad that promotes an expectation of God to act in a manner or timing that is not outlined clearly in Scripture. I'm not going to base my faith on something that could so easily be misunderstood or misintrepreted.

Aside from the fact that the world has been given yet one more reason to mock those of us who are a part of God's family (which is extremely regrettable), I'm also saddened for the people who truly believed. Where are they today? Are they able to cling to their Lord and trust that He is still in control, that they made a mistake but He didn't? Or are they left in confusion and doubt, second guessing everything they believed?

Will Jesus return to take His bride - His children - His church home? Absolutely.
Will He judge the world? Absolutely.
Will it be today, or in 2012, or during my life time? Perhaps. I hope so.
Will the day be prominently displayed on billboards across the world, warning that it's the last opportunity to repent? No, I really don't think it will.

The Life Changing Question

I'm engaged.

While I was visiting my boyfriend & his family for a weekend, my boyfriend took me hiking in the Gila National Forest. At the end of a beautiful canyon trail we sat in on a rock ledge and he asked the question that would change our lives forever.

There have been a lot of emotions and thoughts since then. They range dramatically depending on the moment or the day:

•  I'm engaged!!!! I'm engaged!!! I'm engaged!!! *bounce, bounce, squeal*
• *when I unexpectedly catch sight of a sparkle on my finger* I'm wearing a diamond ring. I'm been tagged and claimed and promised to spend the rest of my life with someone.
• Total peace
• Brief panic: do I understand the ramifications of getting married? Am I prepared to spend the rest of my life loving, respecting, submitting, sacrificing, working, serving, and everything else that marriage brings for, with, and alongside my husband?
• Overwhelming joy & excitement

I'm extremely blessed on so many levels. The more I get to know my fiance (seriously, that word is still astonishing every time I say it) the more I realize what an amazing man he is and how wonderful my life with him will be. I have no doubt that he will love & cherish & serve me & protect me not only at first, but also decades from now as we raise our family, rejoice over grandchildren, and grow old together. We will be able to serve God together, following His lead, and enjoy the adventures that He will take us on, both good & difficult.

I've pleaded God for years to send me a husband. I've cried myself to sleep longing for someone to see who I am and love me for me. I've watched friends with their boyfriends, fiances and husbands and rejoiced with them while trying to trust my Father with the ache in my heart, wondering when my turn would come. I've learned to enjoy being single, and be at peace with the season God has placed me in. I've had ups & downs and struggled and mourned and been discouraged and hurt, and wondered if God really would answer my prayers and give me a beautiful romance.

He has. He brought a Godly man into my life that I easily and quickly fell in love with. I feel valued and loved. My fiance makes me feel special, says sweet things, does beautiful things, and has acted in an incredible way, giving me the romance I craved while being careful to guard my heart and protect my purity.

I'm happy, in the truest sense of the word.

Confession Time

I forced myself to acknowledge a frustrating truth this month: I'm addicted to a few TV shows.

I have always chosen not to have a TV in my home (my roommates own TV/VCR/DVD that we use for watching movies, but it doesn't get channels). It's been a long-known fact that I am easily sucked in to wasting hours of time very quickly by mindless entertainment. It used to be (and is still easy to revert to) books (I can read a 250 page novel in an hour and a half, which means a sick day or lazy Saturday can conquer 3-5 books, depending on the length and depth). Reading, although definitely a potential time-waster, is easier to justify: it's engaging the brain, building imagination, and (depending on the book) learning.

My issue began with the discovery of Hulu.com, and it's hundreds of shows & movies, easily accessible by my home laptop. I can watch the latest episode of my favorite show while doing dishes, cleaning my room, working on an art project or just vegging after work. It's become a big problem, and one that needs to be dealt with. As a result, I have announced to my roommates that I am giving it up. One of my roommates has even been gracious enough to hold me accountable to this. There may be occasional exceptions (as in a roommate wants my company while watching Glee), but otherwise it's a banned site.

Of course, the day I determined this was also the day that Hulu posted the newest Castle & Chuck episodes. I'm also going to quickly be missing Bones & Fringe. Hopefully the curiousity and draw wears off quickly!

Next step: start focusing on what to fill that time with!

So much for getting in the habit of regular posts...

I've had a few post ideas bouncing around in my head the last couple of months, although most are now long forgotten. The problem is time, energy & creativity; there are definitely plenty of moments I could have found/made time, but none of them had me in the right mood. There were instances of creativity, but not when I had any time. And energy... I vaguely remember what that feels like.

I could vent about work, but my boyfriend & mom read this, and they've heard enough of that over the last several months (let's just say it's been extremely stressful).

Another thing I could vent on is how my dog has decided to make it a habit of leaving messes on the living room & music room carpet. *sigh* Actually, that just reminds me I was going to Google tips for dealing with that behavior. 

I could gush about my boyfriend, but since he reads this that gets a little awkward after awhile.

On a semi-fun note, I ended up having to purchase a new laptop last month after the video card went out on my old one. Purchasing a new computer was not fun, but I like the new one far more than the old one! The 10-key pad is the coolest feature; it's always annoyed me that most laptops don't have that.

One thing I had planned on writing about awhile back was the day I realized I'd had a chorus echoing through my head as worship for quite awhile, but I couldn't quite remember the rest of the song. Eventually it clicked - I was worshiping to the theme song of Gilmore Girls. ("Where you lead, I will follow, anywhere you tell me to..."). That kind of spoiled THAT moment!! Thankfully a couple days days later Chris Tomlin's "I Will Follow" came on the radio, and so I could replace it.

"Where You go, I'll go, Where You stay, I'll stay

When You move, I'll move, 

I will follow You,

Who You love, I'll love

How You serve, I'll serve,

If this life I lose,

I will follow You"

I have realized that I've turned random songs into worship songs in my head in the past (was a great way to cope with Country music back in the cafe some days), but Gilmore Girls felt a little sacrilegious.


My lunch break is drawing to a close, so this will have to end. Maybe I can try once again to turn writing into a habit.