Homosexuality & Biblically Based Marriage (part two)

Please read part 1 here first.

 

We live in a sinful, fallen world.

Men are growing up seeing a tainted image of what a man looks like, what a father looks like, and what a husband looks like.  Women are growing up with a tainted image of what a woman looks like. Our enemy – the spiritual forces of evil in this world, organized by Satan – has been hard at work for millennia gradually chipping away at our God-given identities. Media makes men look weak, puts woman in charge, mocks identity roles, and promotes people who reject their God-given identities as heroes. 

Whether due to social pressure, parental confusion and misleading, abuse, or genetic mutation, many men and women get confused over their identity. This confusion is not a sin, merely an indication of the state of the world, and a personal stumbling block for the individual. Identities can get confusing in a wide variety of areas, not only sexual or gender; any lie that we believe affects how we view ourselves and the world around us. If I believe that I have to measure up to a certain performance level to be valued or “good enough” for God to love me, I am believing a lie that is going to impact my thoughts, behavior & actions. This impact extends to how I interact with people around me. The lies that others believe impact how they interact with me, and can cause a chain reaction by either feeding me new lies, or appearing to reinforce the lie I already believe. It’s a brutal cycle. 

Sadly, gender & sexual identity lies can be among the hardest to refute. 

The lie could be planted in a young girl by her believing she can never be as feminine as a mother/teacher/supermodel who defines in her mind what a woman should be. It could be planted in a boy by teasing friends who suggest he isn’t manly enough. Sometimes, I suspect, someone with a strong desire for physical touch misinterprets the love they feel when a friend, coach or family member hugs or wrestles them. The possibilities are endless – but it’s important to understand the underlying reason is a lie, a stronghold that has taken root in their mind & heart. The longer it sits there unrecognized, the more it gradually poisons the heart & mind of the person believing it.

I highly recommend the book The Search for Significance by Robert McGee for more information on recognizing lies and how to conquer them. 

Recognizing that there is a lie doesn’t mean the road away from it will be easy. False beliefs have power for a reason – we believe them! We tend to be passionate about what we perceive as truth, and it’s difficult to rewrite our mindset to replace the false belief with what is actually true. It is critical for this process to refer to our infallible Truth – God’s Word. 

The following passages may feel long, but I encourage you to read them, putting Paul’s words in context.

1 Timothy 1:3-17

3 As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer 4 or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. Such things promote controversial speculations rather than advancing God’s work—which is by faith. 5 The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. 6 Some have departed from these and have turned to meaningless talk. 7 They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.

8 We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. 9 We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, 10 for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine 11 that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.

12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 13 Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Corinthians 6:9-20

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. 13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Both of these passages are stressing the following message: we are made to glorify God. He sets us free from our struggles so that we can pursue Him and make Him known. This is what being a Christian, a follower of Christ, is all about. It is easy for us to get caught up in “righteous” pursuits and projects that seem good, but that don’t glorify God at all. Just as in the early days of the church, we debate myths and speculations. We have allowed “spiritual” leaders to advance to positions of authority who “do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.”  What we should be affirming is this: “I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength … Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life”

Too many people have read key verses in the Bible and walked away believing the “God hates gay people” lie. The Old Testament had strict laws and was much harsher because it was required for people to work to live a holy righteous life in order to have favor with God. The New Testament, however, brought grace. We need to be continuing on in the daily process of sanctification – becoming like Christ to glorify God – but God sees us as holy once we have confessed our sin and received Jesus as our Lord & Savior. All sin, be it homosexuality, pride, murder, lying, or selfishness drives a wedge between us and God. All are forgiven when we accept our new life as a child of God. 

It is also extremely important to note that in both 1 Timothy & 1 Corinthians, Paul specifically stated, “those who practice homosexuality…” The temptation itself is not a sin. Even Jesus was tempted while He was on earth! Temptation is not easy to fight off, but God has promised to always give us the strength when we seek Him for it. What becomes sin, however, is indulging in the mental thoughts, fantasying about the concept, and physically acting them out. Lust is a sin, whether it’s heterosexual or homosexual. God created sex for within the confines of a one-man one-woman marriage ONLY. All other expressions of it (adultery, fornication, pornography, etc) are all sin. 

As I covered before, I believe that sexual sins are all the more repulsive in God’s eyes because of the beauty and imagery that marriage is to our relationship with Christ.  Forgivable, yes – but God hates the action. And it is exactly because of how special marriage is to God that Satan works so hard to pervert it. Homosexual behavior is the pinnacle of mockery of God’s design.

One of the traps that we have fallen into as humans is believing that our thoughts and temptations define our identity. Many believers reach a point where they give in and state that they “are” gay/lesbian/bi-sexual/transgendered. This is replacing God’s true identity for them with a lie. They are a son or daughter of the King of the Universe, their Creator, who is being tempted. They are struggling with a lie that the enemy has fed them, but that lie does not define who they are.  I know people who have committed adultery – their identity is not as an adulterer, but as a Christian who committed a sin in the past and has been forgiven. They have repented and turned away from that behavior, it is in their past, and even if they are tempted again they have the power in Christ to walk away and focus on their spouse. Same for people who have stolen. Same for people who have lied. Our sin does not define us. Our temptations do not define us. We must keep our focus on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).

 

Hebrews 13:1-5

1 Keep on loving each other as brothers. 2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. 3 Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. 5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." 

Romans 1:26-28

26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. 28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 

Galatians 5:14

14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 

Jude 1:5-8

5 Though you already know all this, I want to remind you that the Lord delivered his people out of Egypt, but later destroyed those who did not believe. 6 And the angels who did not keep their positions of authority but abandoned their own home--these he has kept in darkness, bound with everlasting chains for judgment on the great Day. 7 In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire. 8 In the very same way, these dreamers pollute their own bodies, reject authority and slander celestial beings.

Mark 10:6-9

6 "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 7 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 

1 Corinthians 7:2

2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 

Romans 13:8-10

8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 10 Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. 

Leviticus 18:22

" 'Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable. 

1 Corinthians 6:17-20

17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

We must never forget that our lives, thoughts, beliefs & actions absolutely have to be grounded in Truth. It is imperative that we define Truth based not on our experiences and what the world says, but on what God says. The Bible is our handbook for life. Jesus is our example. If anything that we believe and perceive to be true does not agree with what we find in Scripture, we have to change our way of thinking. If we fail to do so, we are in danger of becoming a false teacher ourselves.

Why Does a Biblically-Defined Marriage Matter? (part 1)

 The definition of marriage is one of the hottest topics in our nation lately. Emotions flair on both sides, and most arguments seem to come down to one of two perspectives:

• Marriage is a social convention created by man, and it's only fair that its legal definition be expanded. Those who refuse to accept this are narrow minded bigots who hate people who aren't like them.
• Marriage was created by God, who says that homosexuality is a sin. Therefore, we must fight tooth & nail against the forces of this fallen world to protect what God has established.

 What frustrates me is that I don't see the Church - the followers of Jesus Christ - explaining WHY. Everyone wants to know why rules exist - just ask any 3 year old! Hitting our neighbors over the head with, "Because God said so," isn't going to change their mind; instead it confirms to them that we really don't know what we're talking about and are blindly following our religion. 

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."

So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them."
     ~ Genesis 1:26-27

 Genesis chapter 2 gives more details on the creation of mankind, explaining that God originally created man (Adam) alone, then said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." God then removed one of Adam's ribs and fashioned Eve, the first woman.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ~Genesis 2:24

 Right there: God created marriage. Throughout the remainder of the Old Testament we find the lives of various people recorded, and see their good decisions and bad. The narrative does not always specify a judgement, but records the history to allow us to see how God worked and His love for all people, regardless of their shortcomings. Many of these men had multiple wives - nowhere does God condone this, but He allowed them to make their own choices, just as we have free will today. Often we find it resulted in trials and strife for the man & his family that could have been avoided by following God's plan and choosing to be content with his first wife.

Meanwhile, this still doesn't explain the why. 

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. ~ Isaiah 54: 5

For as a young man marries a young woman,
so shall your sons marry you,
and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
so shall your God rejoice over you. ~Isaiah 62:5

The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. ~John 3:29

Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready; ~Revelation 19:7

Men & women are different. It goes deeper than emotional differences, deeper than clothing styles, deeper than social constructs. Our DNA is different. Our Designer created us to be different. We complement each other. We work well together, bringing different strengths to a partnership. Although everyone is unique and not everyone’s personality looks like their gender’s stereotype, the basic chemistry and soul of a man is still very different than a woman. And it’s good!

Both men & women are created in God’s image, yet He creatively and specifically gave us very different characteristics. Men are created to reflect the Father heart of God, and His passion and delight over a bride. Men are, traditionally, the pursuers – just like God is! Men are the protectors, both physically (no one can deny that the average man is significantly stronger than the average woman) and in their heart. I’ve been struck with this just watching and learning to understand my husband better; we both are intensely motivated to protect our children (and each other), but he (and, I assume, most men) face it as an action. He wants to face the enemy (be it human, situation problem, etc.) and conquer it, ensuring it does not harm his family. Women, meanwhile, based on my own experience, usually face protection from an empathy position. I want to hide my children from danger, not letting them come in contact with harm. The end result may look very similar, but there is a difference. Women are designed to be an image of the Church, a bride pursued, cherished, passionate about their Bridegroom, and willing to do whatever it takes to be in a close, intimate relationship with the One they love.

 God created us as humans to be His friends, His chosen creation. He walked with Adam and Eve in the garden before they sinned, enjoying their presence. HE - God - created the institution of marriage as a symbolic picture for us of His love and His desire for us! He doesn't desire us in a sexual or carnal way - God is not a sexual being - but the multifaceted intimacy that we share with our spouses is an example to us of the intense love and passion that God has for us. We (believers who have given our lives to the Lord Jesus) are called, "the Bride of Christ." He is eagerly awaiting the day we are united in holy perfection, and is planning a wedding feast to celebrate that day! 

 This is why we as Christians cling to the "sanctity of marriage." A wedding is not a government recognized contract between two people. A marriage is not a social construct designed to make us feel less lonely or give us a companion through life. A wedding is the union of a man, who is a picture of God the Father and His Son, Jesus, to a woman, who is a picture of the Church. A husband's delight in his bride is an imperfect picture, but a picture non-the-less, of the passion, love, jealousy and protective nature that God has towards His people. A wife's trust, joy and commitment towards her husband is an illustration of the passion and unhindered dedication that we should exhibit in our relationship with God.

 Years ago, while I was frustrated and wondering where my earthly husband was, God led me to the Song of Solomon. As I read and studied the intimate words back and forth that the two lovers shared, God opened my eyes to a new understanding of who He is, and how He treasures me as His daughter, as His creation, and as His bride. When I wrote down a list of the reasons I craved a husband, He revealed how He himself met those areas, and could fulfill my heart's cravings if I allowed Him. (Again, note this is not in a sexual way - I don't want to cause confusion here!)

•  I crave security - In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8)
•  I was lonely - For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.(Isaiah 54:10)
•  I wanted to be loved and treasured - The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

 The list could go on much longer, but hopefully I've made my point. God did not give us marriage (or any other "rule") arbitrarily. He designed it with a purpose - to point us towards a better understanding of who He is, and how He loves us. He created men & women to support each other, complement each other, and help each other see a more well-rounded perspective of Him as we bring our separate strengths and weaknesses to a relationship. God did also determine that a marriage relationship was the best option for children - ideally, our sons and daughters will grow up seeing the Father Heart of God as they are loved, protected and disciplined by their earthly fathers, and see God's gentleness, the comfort of His Holy Spirit as they are nurtured and cradled by their mothers.

Read Part 2 here.