Arrrghh!

Sorry, I just have to vent!!

Last week, as a response to some things that God has been dealing with my heart about, I told David that I have long (as in, years) avoiding the fact that I believe God wants to teach me how to preach. As a result, I am now in charge of opening up the Sunday morning service and doing a 2 minute "sermonette." All very good & exciting.

Last week, I literally wrote exactly what I wanted to share, and pretty much read it, trying to quote as much as I could from memory and make eye contact with people. Problem: it sounded scripted, "not like Hanna," etc.

This week, I'm trying to get to where I just have points jotted down to keep me on track while I 'use my own words.' IT'S NOT WORKING. I can't talk - seriously, I can't! My thoughts jumble, I wander off track, it takes me 10 minutes to say 3 minutes worth of material. I'm sure I sound like me... my roommates always tell me I'm too long winded and don't get to the point. I can write - I love writing - but I can't talk coherently upon request.

I've been working on & off on this for half the day, and am running out of time and growing in frustration. Trying to curb the desire to go yell or kick something. Didn't want to vent about this on facebook. Should probably practice on one of my roommates, but then they'll have already heard it. *sigh*